


No Holding Back

by delicate_mageflower



Series: It Means Tumult Universe [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Modern Thedas, Neurodivergent Character(s), referenced character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:17:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicate_mageflower/pseuds/delicate_mageflower
Summary: Merrill responds to her recent loss in a most unexpected way, and Isabela is right there with her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> CW: referenced character death, referenced dysfunctional family dynamics and implied ableism
> 
> This is pretty much just fluff, though, don't worry. :)

“Let’s get married.”

Isabela had not expected to hear those words, neither had Merrill expected to speak them.

It had only been a couple of days since losing Marethari and Merrill was, by all accounts, handling it remarkably well. She was still a little shaky and she was letting herself relax as much as she could in hopes of keeping at least some of her anxiety at bay, but she’d also woken Isabela up in the middle of the night talking in her sleep more than once. Isabela didn’t press her about it, though. Isabela understood that Merrill needed her space to handle things how she needed to handle them, and that the best way to be sure she’d be pushed out was to force her into more than she could yet deal with, to treat her the way she’d always been treated before. Merrill was dealing, though, all the same, and that gave Isabela peace of mind enough.

Isabela smiled when Merrill said those words, holding her tight in her arms. It hadn’t been too rough a night, but they’d let themselves sleep in. It was almost noon and they couldn’t seem to make themselves move, too content to just stay in bed and feel each other there.

“Sure thing, Kitten,” Isabela laughed affectionately. “We can pick out rings after we make ourselves put on pants.”

“That’s okay,” Merrill replied quickly. “We don’t need them, I was thinking we’d just head over to the viscount’s office or something later on if you’re up for it.”

“Wait,” Isabela sighed carefully. “You’re not joking, are you?”

Merrill shifted enough to turn around, and Isabela moved her fingers into Merrill’s hair once they were face to face. Merrill’s eyes lit up looking back at her, she smiled so genuinely, and Isabela stared back and realised she had no reservations about this at all, which might have been even more surprising than it coming up to start with.

“Isabela, I love you,” Merrill said so matter-of-factly, so sincerely. “And I feel like I’ve always been holding something back, like I’ve been holding _myself_ back somehow, and I’ve felt it for pretty much my whole life and I don’t fucking want to anymore. I can’t go back to Sundermount. It was never really home and that family isn’t mine, and without Marethari I’m honestly done with them. They always wanted to change me, to ‘fix’ me or whatever the fuck and I was always supposed to just roll over and take whatever they threw at me, and I always did, and I’m fucking over it. I’m not bending on shit I care about anymore. _You_ are my home and my family and I’m not holding anything back now. So fuck it, right? Let’s get married.”

Merrill was suddenly filled with a fire, with a passion that overtook Isabela completely.

Isabela rolled them over, held herself overtop Merrill and kissed her deeply, holding on and burying her lips into Merrill’s, and Merrill’s hands drifted into her hair.

Isabela couldn’t stop kissing, touching, running her hands all along Merrill’s body, taking on everything she was, and Merrill didn’t think she could stop her. Isabela felt so warm above her, so comforting, like she could shield her from anything the outside world could throw. Isabela consumed her and she eagerly reciprocated, neither of them in any rush to part from each other just yet.

“Is that a yes, though?” Merrill grinned and bit her lip after a short break for air, and Isabela nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, Kitten,” she smiled and kissed her nose. “It absolutely is.”

“We’ll have to look up the hours,” Merrill noted before Isabela could surge into her once again. “I want to go today, Isabela, I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to fucking wait on this, okay?”

Isabela ran her lips along Merrill’s neck, and she hummed along with the sensation, arched just slightly into Isabela at the touch. It eased her, reminded her that this was happening and it would be alright, that she could still enjoy these moments beforehand without having to worry about what she wanted being pushed to the backburner.

“I don’t, either,” Isabela whispered. “We’ll figure it out in a little bit, but I don’t want to let go of you just yet, alright?”

Merrill loved how natural everything felt between them, how easily Isabela trusted her, how safe they made each other feel. She hadn’t been sure if Isabela would ever dare to get married again regardless of the circumstance, in fact neither of them had been. The right circumstance had presented itself for certain, though, and it had been hard enough to get there that they had no qualms about reaping this reward.

“Alright,” Merrill sighed as Isabela’s hands drifted towards her hips, and then wrapped around her waist and pulled them together so close, so tight.

“I love you so much, you know that,” Isabela mused, her lips against Merrill’s neck, a hand running itself back into her hair while Merrill’s arms wrapped themselves around Isabela and they both tangled up their legs until it was physically impossible for them to move their bodies any closer together.

“I do—”

“Save that for the viscount.”

It was such a bad joke but they both laughed so genuinely, so enraptured by each other, so full of love and warmth neither of them could yet believe they’d found.

“Oh shit,” Merrill started after a few quiet moments had passed, the only sounds around them made by the occasional small kiss, or hands shuffling around to touch the other however possible. “We need someone to go with us, don’t we? A witness, right?”

“Oh shit,” Isabela echoed softly. “Yeah, I think you’re right. We should ask Anders.”

“Anders is working, vhenan,” Merrill noted.

“You _know_ he’d take a break for this, though, come on,” Isabela teased. She was obviously joking, although they both had to wonder if he really would, both knowing how likely it actually was even if neither were truly intending to pull him out of the clinic for it. “Besides, Kitten, I’m sure _everyone’s_ working.”

“Oh no,” Merrill chuckled, and Isabela followed in anticipation of the same realisation. “Varric, though…”

“Fuck, I guess we don’t really have much choice in the matter, do we?” They both laughed, and they both knew Varric would certainly be his typical sarcastic self when they asked him, but they also both knew he would not-so-secretly be incredibly honoured to be the one to go with them.

“No, I don’t think we do,” Merrill smiled.

“One of us should probably text him or something, you know,” Isabela huffed playfully, to which Merrill only shook her head. “What happened to not wanting to wait?”

“I don’t,” Merrill sighed. “I just want to stay like _this_ a little while longer…”

Isabela knew not to push, she knew Merrill and she understood how to proceed, but she couldn’t help but ask, anyway.

“Are you okay, Kitten?”

“Yeah,” Merrill replied quietly and too quickly, so she cleared her throat to start again. “I mean, I will be. Really, thank you.”

Merrill closed her eyes and took in her surroundings, how content she truly was even with everything that had been going on around them.

“I love you, Isabela,” she continued. “I love you and I appreciate you dealing with everything and with, well, all of _me,_ and…you know…”

“I’d do anything for you,” Isabela whispered. “I mean that, Merrill. Anything I can, ever.”

“Alright, then,” Merrill smirked as she started to shift away, and she looked Isabela right in the eyes as soon as she was able to meet them. “You text Varric, I’ll Google office hours, and then we put on pants.”

“And then we put on pants,” Isabela repeated with a radiant smile. “Such a romantic.”

“I try,” Merrill grinned widely. “So, let’s get married?”

“Let’s get married.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've actually been trying to write this scene for a while but given the last few side-stories this AU got, I really just fucking _owed_ something cute and fluffy to this series at this point, so...you're welcome. ;)
> 
> Love to [fereldandoglord](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fereldandoglord) for the beta reading and for being an awesome human.


End file.
